Things are looking up!

They really are!

My first book project is basically over, and it turned out great, woman have been working with is very pleased with pictures and am more then happy.
Even went to party with her, mom, and Janie last Friday night. First party in a long time. Had lots of fun.

Then went to aunt's house for Easter supper last Sunday, was great. Haven't got myself drunk like last time, thank god. Honestly, that was the last thing missing before I truly became Bridget Jones, getting drunk and embarrassing myself and stumbling around at family gatherings. Never again, I had promised myself...and see, Sunday was great!

Even hair is going well. Not that it's growing at all, mind you, but at least it's toned down to an acceptable color, pretty close to natural shade.

Timine is going great, he's going to keep his claws, after all, became quite reasonable. Looks like someone *is* reading my blogs !

Spring is here, yay!

Claws!

Ouch! Think I must look like some sort of scratching device or something.
Why else would kitty (ok, it's now official, his name is Timine. Pronounced Tee-mean, which basically means Kitty in French....how lame of me, but it fitted him so well.)
So, why would he scratch the face off of me like that!? I had decided to not have him de-clawed, but he seriously got me rethinking.

Between escalating the fake-tree and climbing up the back of my brand new couch all needle-claws out, he also seems to think it's fun the wake me up at night, pouncing not only on my legs (which is understandable), but also on my innocently sleeping face. I've got two nice scratches on my left cheek to prove it.

And also a few on my hands and four on my thigh. It's getting dangerous, seems like Timine is trying to send me a message here: Call the Vet quick, before you loose an eye girl! It still breaks my heart to have to do that....I'll wait a few weeks to see if things changes as he matures...who knows, if not, the front claws will have to go. Hope you read that, kitty.

No more Pyg...hello Loki

By popular request, new kitty will no longer be called Pyg, short for Pygwillion. As the name has proved to be too complicated to pronounce in it's entirety and to farm-animal sounding when shortened. So I gave up.

Kitty spent yesterday night without a proper name while I looked trough every mythology, history and grimoire I own (All three of them!;P). In a desperate quest to find the perfect original name, for I will *not* have a cat named hairball, puffy, fluffy or any other similar names people like to call their animal.

I came up with a nice long list, some I will keep for future female cats, wouldn't want to effeminate poor kitty by calling him Strega or Gaia. A few names I considered were Callisto (Calli), Spica, Griffin, Moony, Sphynx, Doxy, but I finally ended up picking Loki. After getting the consent of entire family of course. To see if everyone could say it right...

Oooh, am really into redecorating these days. Always happens when am out of money. Finances are not great since sister has moved out, especially because I bought a brand new sofa ensemble while on my non-payed vacations. (Genius idea!) But the sofa is looking great, will get it tomorrow, is totally worth it. And money will come back to me, when it does, apartment will get grand makeover. (Inspired by awesome "Friends" decor) Am starting to draw a list of things needed which won't cost too much. Am all for recycling.

The Madness of Kittens

Alright, I thought I knew cats. I thought I had witnessed or heard of every feline-oddity that existed.
What with Gibril spilling his food and water out of his bowls before eating it, Pixy sleeping in the bathtub, etc. Other then that, they were pretty tame, and relaxed....and I was used to that peace. Now...NOW! Ugh! Think am going crazy.

Pygwilion is still an absolute angel, but I didn't remember kitten to cause so much worrying. Dru certainly wasn't like that!

I thought I would be all upset and sad when I came home last night, with the absence of my babies and all, but Pyg didn't even give me time to think about things other then him.

The second I put the key in the lock I heard him running to the door and slouching against it. Yes, I had to push it open along with the little hairball. Ever so slowly, in total fright of crushing one of his little paws under the door. He seemed to think it very funny. Then I spent the whole time from coming home, to preparing dinner, to shower being careful not to crush him, (he quite enjoys getting tangled in my legs.)

I don't know what's up with him...he's got this undeniable talent for finding every dangerous place and thing and trying it. He has a very developed taste for danger he has.
He recently found out that he could indeed climb on the back of the rocking-chair (which seems like Mount Everest to him) and use it to climb the fake tree in the corner. One would think he would have understood after a few times, that this is not a real thing, with roots and all, and that it does fall down when a big kitty throws itself into it.

Unlike normal cats, he doesn't like to go to sleep on a chair, or the sofa, or some other comfy, safe place.
No, for Pyg, it's sleeping on the edge of a huge cushion looming over the deadly precipice that is the sofa's side. I know I should let him experience things for himself...but I can't help it, he gets me so worried. How can I work in these conditions of constant stress!? I tried to start a painting last night, I ended up constantly looking out for him, seeing if he wasn't too far over the edge of his cushion, or preventing the tree to fall once again and getting his little hairy paws out of my paint palette (complete failure).

And when I thought I would be at peace in bed, now is time for Pyg to play. Meaning running and pouncing all over my bed, purring and scratching at my hair all night. All the while worrying about him not eating enough. Sigh

Having a kitten demands time and energy. I can't wait for him to become an old lazy cat like Gigi and Pixy, whose only craziness consisted of spilling food.

Oh! The humanity!

Darn it, just when was beginning to be happy with my hair. Scissor-fever is back at full strength.
I had resolved to let hair grow, and dye it black from time to time. Now hair is beginning to go a bit past my ears, it is growing sloooooowly. And I am not a patient girl when it comes to hair growing. I couldn't help but to think that it would accelerate the process to trim them a bit.

Especially since have found my ends to be kind of split, not to say downright horrible-looking yesterday. I had flat-ironed them and so they were angry. Not only that, hair started behaving strangely. Flat at some very inappropriate places and sticking up at odd angles where it made me look like some kind of mad pixie.

Am really glad not to be working in a formal environment, surely would have been fired on account of scaring customers off. The only thing left to do was to tie them up with daycare-available color elastics. Looked like overgrown 4 year old, and didn't help relationship with hair at all.

So yesterday night (after picking up latest Tori CD!!Yay!Beekeeper!!) washed them again and let them do their natural curly thing. It usually looks kind of Frodo-like but obviously more acceptable then previous flat/spiky on the sides look.

Looked fine before I went to bed, and looked fine when I looked in the mirror this morning. But it is not a very good day starter to look at the back of your head and find that you can see scalp.
It seems like curls freaked out from being slept on. Again sticking out and away at certain places and flat at others, revealing bits of scalp. Very traumatic. Had to arrange and pin hair to hide, but very hard to do with short hair and have to consider am wearing a hat to go outside.

So am now seriously thinking of cutting and letting it grow it's natural color. Would save me so much time and energy to stop thinking about right anti color-fading shampoo, right color to die them, bleach, scalp showing and odd pieces of hair sticking out.

But as I want to be reasonable, am giving myself some time to think and will wait till Monday till I cut anything. Will see if hair is only getting through an awkward phase. If not, will go the pixie-cut way. At least will not shave it like I thought before....too extreme, even for me.
Well, enough of the rambling, must go to work...with hideous hair....

Aaaawww! 

Lost Kitty!

Might as well continue with the ongoing Lost theme.

This week-end, spent quite a lot of time alone, well, most of it with my mother. As father and brothers gone out and sister...well, with boyfriend all week-end.
(Which made me realised am not such a pitiful scarredy-cat after all, since have managed to sleep three whole nights all by myself in dark apartment without having a thought of Chucky and/or Grudge lurking in my room.)

Am very proud of self. Speaking of Chucky, I absolutely hate to admit it, but I need to see "Seed of Chucky". Have learned that Billy (Pippin) Boyd is the voice of Chucky's kid and that he makes an excellent and funny job of it. I love this guy.

Ok, on with the subject. I come in front of my building on Saturday night (Back from seeing "Without a paddle", because what is a week-end without a movie??) And just as I am about to go in, I see this cute and I mean CUTE little kitten coming to me. He is alone! He doesn't have a collar! He purrs and looks at me with big shinny eyes in manner of Shrek's Puss in Boots!

What was I, the cat-lover, to do? It was cold and windy and rainy outside, and to make it worst, he was following me. Couldn't resist, absolutely no way could have slept knowing that Puss in Boots was outside in the rain.
So took him in, looked so happy to be inside. Gibril and Pixy looked like a mixture of being annoyed, curious and very surprised, smelling Kitty's bottom every time they could. And Gibril kept gently poking at him as if it were some strange unidentified thing.

At least, kitty didn't seem to mind.
So he spent the night with us (me and cats) and looked quite content, purring and rolling into a ball next to me. But the next morning, knew I had to let him go and give him chance to find own home. As much as it broke my heart, had to let him out, and it was raining!! Grrr! Said to myself that if I came back later and kitty was still there, would adopt it. Happily, it was not. I just hope it has found it's home. Poor thing.

Apartment is: Really cleaning. Felt like responsible house-keeper yesterday and everything is
clean. Can't rely on sister anymore, like she isn't living here.
Cats are: happy to be alone and not in competition with cute Kitty.
Hair is: slowly growing, and still reasonably soft. Good
Outside is : V. Cold!!!
Christmas shopping is : Not started!!! God! Must start! At least have a few ideas.

Lost!

No, not only the TV show, although I do love it! But more importantly my wallet!

Woke up yesterday morning, feeling all chirpy and singing along to *whispers* Britney spears...
What?! Who can honestly say that "My Prerogative" isn't catchy. (For my defense, was back to Tori Amos this morning.)

So was all happy and dancing around, for once would be in time and not running to catch bus. Two minutes before passing door of apartment, I look in my wallet to find my bus card...and ...well, the wallet was not there!
Literally turned my purse, (which is a big bag in which stuff may be easily lost), inside-out. Was frantic. Where was wallet!!??

Started imagining all kind of scenarios in which would have to call for every lost cards (and god knows there are many) and , ugh! had lost twenty bucks, which is very precious since Christmas is coming soon. (and brothers are getting too old to get them only candy)

So obviously, to my shame, had to call mom to the rescue, well, couldn't go to work on foot. While was waiting for her, looked everywhere in apartment, who knows, maybe the faes had a problem with me that day. But was not anywhere. Anyone who has lost their wallet knows what I mean, except it is ten times worst with me, for I am a professional panicker. What if I have left in on the bus??? That would be stupid of me, but things happen...No, surely, they would have called! Unless someone took it before they found it, suddenly remembered all weirdos/freaks I have seen on bus...

So mom picked me up, and ran into house looking for wallet, thinking maybe had left it there. Had not. So desperately called bus company. Friendly Lady asked name, address, phone number, etc, talked for about 5 minutes, then told her what have lost, logically, should have done so at beginning of conversation. Because SHE HAD IT!
Shrieked with joy, friendly lady was laughing, but hey, it was wallet after all, not mittens or something. Was so relieved, adrenaline rushing as if I had just finished a very stressing exam, or worse oral exam.

So all is well, am holding dearly to wallet now in manner of cherished family heirloom, checking if it's still there every few minutes. Will never take it for granted again!

Apartment is : absolutely disastrous. Sister is too occupied with new boyfriend, so have to
take over cleaning duties, as only single one.
Cats are: taking a liking to me, since their mistress has somebody else to stroke
Hair is: behaving well enough, have even gone out of house without hat, looking less like hobbit.
Christmas shopping is: tragically not started

crazy fools 

Pianos, Butt-Heads and Photo-Boots...

So I'm taking the bus now....everyday. And frankly, I like it. But I realised that one can never know what weird people are unless they have taken the bus regularly.

A few days ago, their was that psycho-looking guy, who was on the run from, (get that) "Indians" that were after him. He showed everyone a "scar" on his head, supposedly made by the nasty Indians three days ago. Because of course, a scar can be made in three days. Nobody dared to point it out, since the guy seemed ready to explode. On top of that, he was carrying a huge suspect bag and was nervously playing with the handles as I started to look for the nearest emergency exists.

Then there is those two guys that I see at the bus station, dressed in black in what looks like a "want-to be-cool-and-kick-ass-but am-really-not" style. Always together, about 16-17 years old, pimply.
They seem to think that only they exist in the world, or at least, only they are important. They don't see a problem in passing in front of everyone else in line for the bus, including elderly ladies, when they have arrived last.
After all, they do want their precious places in front of the bus.

And as if that alone isn't enough, they talk a lot and LOUDLY! Geez, is it necessary that everybody ears what you have to say, especially when the only things to come out of your mouths are idiotic babble?

I swear, it's like a real-life version of the Beavis and Butt-head show. The conversation ranges from how pissed they were that the latest video-game wasn't at the video-store to what they will do and how many hot chicks they will do when they are millionaires.
Fortunately, most of the time, I can be concentrated enough on the book I'm reading to block them out of my head almost completely.

These days, I'm really into Tori Amos, (might be the red hair.) And when am into Tori, am into piano, naturally. I see that beautiful ancient piano sitting un-utilised in the living room at my parent's house. Would really love to be able to play it like Tori, all passionate and artistic genius-like.

Have found that website where you can learn piano, think I will try it. Need way of expressing myself other then drawing, music is so powerful.

Sister and I were feeling quite photogenic and crazy last Friday, so we decided to have fun in a photo-boot. Making all kind of moronic faces and such. Did you know? Those little black curtains they have to close the boots? They are really not that useful.

As we were both trying to balance on that tiny little bench fit for a kid and trying to make faces at the camera, we were hearing giggles from outside the boot, we were so happy to have that precious little curtain to shield us from the hostile/mocking outside world while we were looking messed in the head. Not so! To our complete horror, we then realised that said curtain is quite transparent. Felt like fools, but it was fun anyway. I will even post the results on here (I'm the crazy girl on the right, yes, that was pre-red-hair.)

Apartment is: well, will clean up tonight
Cats are: Gibril has unexpectedly taken a liking to my hair, as in, trying to eat it
while I sleep.
Nmb of days for Bridget Jones 2 : 2!!!Hurra! Can't wait!!

The Girl who didn't have Self-Control

Why yes, that would be me.

Remember? I was all resolute not to dye hair on Friday night, even managed to keep resolution ....until this fatal Sunday morning.

Was having breakfast (yes, restaurant, but not cheap greasy one) with sister, left apartment in the morning feeling pretty darn good about hair and being able to keep it one found-in-nature color for three whole months.

As we were waiting for yummy pancakes to be ready (do try the cheddar and apple one, by the way!) conversation started to slowly drift from the yumminess of pancakes to the dreaded subject of...Hair.

One thing leads to another and within minutes we were both convinced that something must be done about our hair.
It started quite innocently, we both wanted to make it closer to our natural color. So we went back to the apartment to discuss it...and found a particularly fetching picture of Cameron Diaz's awesome short blond hair. Images of myself looking like a golden-goddess flashed in my head, I know the same happened to sis, because that one picture convinced both of us in less then a split-second, that bleaching would indeed be a very nice and logical idea.

So we went to the drugstore, feeling a twinge of guilt but very determinate.
I was looking at various ash-blond shades with sister when something caught the corner of my eye....yes, those:
The fiery, sexy, red-tones. As suddenly as I wanted to be blond in the first place, I got that irresistible urge to go Red.
Never taught twice about it and at the end of the day, my hair was red, and Janie was very blond.

Only she doesn't like the shade, thinks it looks like pee, even if I told her it does look a lot like Nicole Kidman's. She'll probably buy another box today, so much for keeping our hair in good shape.
As for me, I'm pretty happy of results. Is of course less flashy then Tori's but it will give me time to adjust. Must keep it longer then last time (two days should be easy to beat).

Cats are: terrified of flat-iron, one of them even spits at it.
DVD in DVD player: Shrek 2!! How great! There's even a puss-in-boots extra!!

Brown VS Red 

First Temptation

I am a desperate case.
I've been letting my hair grow since August.
Not one time did I use any hair color of any sort.
Been washing it with expensive all-natural mint and thyme shampoo and conditioner.
Been treating it like was the most precious thing in the world.

And now, just as it starts to look less and less like a frightened-hobbit's head, I'm tempted to color them. (Thus ruining them all over again)

What's a girl to do? When all you see in magazines are photos of gorgeous colorful hair and articles on which color should one use for the winter. Yes! Natural brown is beautiful too, but it's so fun to color, I'm an hair-coloring addict.

Keep looking at pictures of gorgeous Liv Tyler, Jennifer Garner, Alanis Morisette, Angelina Jolie and the likes, who all have amazing brown hair. But one look at red-head beauties like Allyson Hannigan, Tori Amos (or better, Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge!) and all my hard work crumbles down to pieces.
It's always been like that, just as soon as my hair starts to look good (at last!) I'm unconditionally attracted to the hair-color aisle in every shop. (The Cinnamon and copper boxes are the strongest it seems...)

What will I do!? To make it worst, I know red hair would suit me well, I've got that fair skin, the green eyes, even some freckles, like I was born to be red!
At least if I knew it would look like crap on me, it would be less tempting. But I know it would look great, the color anyway...the hair would start looking like fright-wig again, because curly hair is very fragile and breaks like burnt-paper.
Must resist, must resist.

Apartment is : Clean! I actually did some cleaning up before leaving this morning, not treating sister like live-in slave anymore.
Cats are: ooh, cold, but they do love our new fuzzy blanket. (As in, love to eat it)
Hair is: pretty good looking (grown a bit more then an inch!!...must resist, must resist)

AAAAAh! *breath* GAAAaaH!

I realised today I'm still a scaredy-cat.

Went to see "The Grudge" yesterday night, expecting to be moderately scared, like with every other "horror" movie I go see. Ended up screaming like a maniac the whole time. Darn it! This movie is the freakiest thing I've ever seen since....well, since the time I was scared of "The Thing" in Addams family or the Chucky Poster.

Sheesh, couldn't get that *sound* out of my head. Had trouble going to sleep yesterday night for kept imagining creepy crawly lady crawling around bed making creepy noises, or going up my covers. Eecck!
Also, dared not look in corners of room in fear of spotting growth of "flowy hair" formation. Even got a bit spooked-out in apartment hallway this morning.

Apartment is : *sigh* let's not talk about this.
Cats are: hopefully still not evil
CD's still waiting for : 2 ( gonna go mad!!!)
Lessons not learned : 1 (ordered DVD in the mail yesterday)

Cooking nightmare

We are receiving big part of the family in small apartment tomorrow night. Supposedly to celebrate our moving out on our own. (Even if actually been on our own for a few months already...)

Anyway, family members insisted on bringing gifts, but since we already got everything needed by now, had trouble finding what to buy without informing us.

Sister and I accepted to make the dessert, every one's bringing something, so nobody has to do everything. We really do like making desserts, they are the fun part of cooking.

So instead on making something really simple like logic would have it, we opted for the weirdest kind of cake existing. Forêt Noire, it's called in French. That kind of very chocolaty layered dream with cherries, some kind of liquor, whipped-cream and more dark chocolate.

Theoretically should be amazingly decadent and delicious. Hope won't have to buy Krispy Kreams or similar junk at last minute.

So I'm surfing the net right now, desperate to find a great and not too problematic recipe. Of course waited the day before. Think have found something do-able, will only need to go to grocery store to pick up...well, every single ingredient, there's no way we still have 6 eggs in the fridge by now. Even less fresh cream, cherries and dark chocolate, those don't last long in the house of two single girls.

Will update on results later, wish me luck.
Thank God(dess) it's Friday!!

My apartment is: pretty damn clean.
My cats are: Well, one of them is having problems to jump on things lately, poor thing.
Also you can see in their eyes that they know their will be dealing with cream
tomorrow.
Nmb of CDs should have received by now: 2(!!!!!!!)Gaah!

Color-coordination

Got up this morning, hoping it wouldn't rain before I got to work, it didn't, am very lucky. Maybe because it's Friday, surely it would have rained like there was no tomorrow on a Monday.

So got up and asked myself once again what on earth I was going to wear. Got progressively frustrated. Maybe it was because a very rebellious and self-affirming Alanis Morisette song was blasting in the background, maybe because it was Friday, I decided to throw every notion of color-coordination to the wind and put on whatever the heck I felt like wearing.

Felt really ground-breaking and edgy wearing tight turquoise shirt that never goes with anything, with long bright red shirt that I never wear because way too bright. Added an apple-green plastic-bead necklace with another sea-shell one. Who cares if I look like color-blind fool, I'm tired of wearing boring black and brown.

Well, I got a lot of compliments from kids at daycare. Felt very proud, I'm teaching them very valuable lesson of non-conformity and self-expression, essential things if I want them to become free-spirited and artistically-liberated kids. Some of them already dress like that anyway: those whose parents let them dress by themselves.

Waiting for my "Jagged little pill" CD to come in the mail, getting a bit nervous, it's been about 8 days since supposedly got mailed. How long does it take?
Also ordered a Rasputina CD yesterday, am in CD-ordering frenzy. Amazon.ca must love me.

Apartment is : messy
Will be: really clean in a few hours
Cats seem : depressed( don't care for rainy days)
CD received: none
Colors am wearing: 7

Why do I do this?

God, I have no idea. What possesses someone to write a diary online for everyone to read? It is beyond my understanding, yet I'm doing it myself.

The thing is, I am on a quest, a quest to get back my natural hair, the hair I had when I was a girl, young and innocent, natural hair, before the many unspeakable horrors of toxic-waste- hair coloring and evil blow-dryer I made it endure.

I tried to make it be like Tori Amos', Cameron Diaz's and every color under the sun and now...My hair hates me, it holds a grudge against me, it turned all Alanis Morisette on me. (ooh, she does have beautiful hair!)

To make a long story short, I sadly had to cut my curls, quite short. My goal is to have hair like Julianna Margulies from ER, or Liv Tyler, (only curly), you know, the long, dark and gloriously shiny and curly kind of hair, sadly, mine currently looks like Frodo Baggin's, not that Ì have anything against hobbits, but am not a boy.

Also found that they are thinning a bit, which completely traumatises me, this morning found myself imagining what I would look like as a young girl with a grandma-type volume-enhancing haircut with ton of hairspray.

my dream hair 

What my hair looks like now on a good day.