Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Fear in the Boy, The Fire in the Man

Of course, the title is from a Tori Amos song, it's the kind of idea that I feel but can not think into words...

It's made me wonder...since I seem to have a hard time connecting with new adults in my life, and it's mad-easy for me to be-friend random children...
Maybe I can't fully feel close to a grown up unless I've known them as little kids (as in my family and old-time friends), or until I catch a hint of the innocent child we all still have hidden somewhere underneath the grown-up costumes and makeup.

And that might explain why I tend to flee relationships with men who hide that child too well.
When the vulnerability shows a bit, even for a moment, a spark in their eyes, when I can really feel I've had a clear glimpse, even for a few seconds of the boy in the man...in a way, I'm reassured that they are a true person, just someone else that comes from the same place we all have. That learned to walk, to talk, that was scared of werewolves and ghosts. I know I can trust and allow myself to feel. Because that man was once a child .....

3 comments:

Princess in Galoshes said...

I'm pretty sure everyone's still got some kid hidding in them somewhere. Some people's shells are just much thicker than others. It takes time to peek through.

Anonymous said...

While I agree that everyone has some kid hiding in them, I'm much more intrigued by those who are strong enough to show it.

Cynthia

Lily said...

Cynthia---Whoever you are, I thank you for leaving your thoughts on my blog. Now I can say I`ve got three commenters! Princess, my Sister and Yourself! I feel loved!

I agree with you both, of course, there is a kid inside of everyone...but it's much more intriguing, like Cynthia said, to see it without have to look for it. There's absolutely nothing wrong about letting it show, yet some seem to consider it a weekness...